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[Ookie Panda]

*Title screen credit goes to Ookie Panda and CLOSET

*Credit to Sander for helping me work out the kinks in this story/world

Many years ago, in a world called Erothia, a civilization of people lived in peace together. The land was ruled by several wise men who made their decisions for the good of the people. The group strongly supported knowledge and science, and that their brains were their greatest tool. But one day things changed. One of the wise men had a vision of a god named Jadferos that created Erothia and all of the life on it, and showed him a new way of living and thinking. He wrote these down and had many followers, who believed he was blessed for his ability to see visions in his sleep. For you see, in this world, no one dreams. And he was the first.

These new beliefs convinced a good portion of the people that their way of living must be changed. But there were still those who strongly believed in science, and called the dreaming wise man insane. This caused the War of Partition, which seperated Erothia into two major towns that reside on opposite sides of the island: Drenslo and Kysteria. Drenslo, named after the dreaming wise man, followed the teachings of Jadferos closely, and even had their hand in their government that implied religious values into their future generations. Kysteria, named after their word 'kyst', which means knowledge, remained ever rebellious towards the foundation of religion and pursued science instead.


The story takes place in Drenslo with our heroine, Rynetia. She is a girl who has been locked away for claiming to have visions. She is assumed to be insane. Which is where our story begins.. inside the insanity.

Rynetia awakens inside of a chamber of sorts. She emerges to see a destroyed town. Snow covers the forgotten land. Only ruins and gravestones remain. She walks to a lake that she knows well, but then everything goes blurry, like she is literally getting dragged away. Her vision is ended, but it was much more vivid than others before it. She decides to go to this lake that she saw in her dream. There she finds an angel who tells her that the town she saw was Drenslo itself in the future. They tell her to save Drenslo, and the only way to do so is to leave her town and truly open her eyes.

Rynetia is hesitant at first. She tries to ignore the message, since she is said to be insane, of course this was another one of her mad visions. But eventually signs point to her leaving, and with a heavy heart, she escapes her holding place and into the unknown. But there is hope. It is said that there is a flower that only grows in a certain area of Erothia called the Remedial Lotus. It is a pure white color and it can open a man's eyes to reality. With the help of a standoffish prince and a playful wizard, Rynetia journeys to find her white remedy...


*Credit to LovelyMoro and Ookie Panda for the portraits

Rynetia is fifteen years old and was raised under the teachings of Jadferos. She had always strongly followed these texts and never questioned them. However, when she began to dream, it opened up her mind to new ideas. Rynetia is otherwise rather childish. Living her whole life in the mental institution sheltered her from much social activity, and therefore hindered her maturity. She is quick to get emotional, and often throws herself in dangerous situations without thinking at all about herself.

Arryn is twenty years old and is the prince of the Kysterian Empire. He is indifferent towards people, not always sure how to convey his feelings. Despite this, he is very generous by nature, as thats how he was raised. It is more of a duty and responsibility to him to look out for others, and not so much goodness of heart. He is a skeptical person. Not just of religion, but also the scientific theories he was fed as a child. His father is the king of the Kysterian Empire, and therefore always busy. His mother was exiled from the kingdom for opposing her husband's harsh way of ruling. He visits his mother regularly to support her.

Typio's age is unknown but he appears about Arryn's age. He lives in the central city of Erothia where most travelers of all sorts stop by. His profession is a "lust reliever", which, as he desrcibes, is a male that will fullfill all of a woman's (or man's) most secret desires for the right price. He is also a very skilled wizard, as he has obtained all of the crystals of Erothia, therefore making him one of the most capable wizards ever. Typio doesn't talk much about himself. He is too busy poking fun at people. He keeps a smile on to hide all of the pain he's been through, but when in need, he can be gravely serious and helpful. He also has a companion named Fae, who is a fairy. She keeps him company and assists him in his adventures. Often times its her that keeps him out of trouble!

Aleda the Divine

She is a symbol of purity. An example of what humans should strive to be like. She represents innocence and good heart. She has a long story behind her, even before her birth. She is Jadferos's most adored angel. It is her job to protect the humans, even non-believers, and asks for nothing in return.

The Dark Maiden

Aleda's opposite, Jadferos placed the Dark Maiden on Erothia as a symbol of jealousy and hatred. She was once Jadferos's favorite angel, and now she despises him, and Aleda even more. She is a fallen angel and was given abnormalities to distinguish her from other humans, such as her horns, her red eyes, her pointed ears.. no one could mistake her. Her goal is to destroy Aleda, and win the people of Erothia over so that they may reject Jadferos, worshipping her instead.

Zarek

A mysterious man that always seems to be there. Is he following Rynetia? He is quiet and distant, only saying a few words before disappearing again. His purpose is unknown, but he obviously wants something. Possibly the same goal as Rynetia, seeing as they always end up in the same places. Rynetia describes him as cold looking, but not quite frozen. Like he used to be kind but life took it all out of him.

Coming soon. This game's maps and events have been completely re-done several times.

[Saekonungar]

I've downloaded it twice and both times I got an extract error when opening it. :S
Also, as a side note, even though I was kind of dissapointed (yes, I know it's a remake of a really old game) with Sword of mana, there was one thing I found awesome about it. I'm pretty surprised you have music from it and haven't included that one. Or it'll be on a later part of the game? Just curious

This post has been edited by Saekonungar: Sep 17 2009, 05:32 AM

[Moururi]

Looks intresting Ookie, i'll give this a download later =3.

[silversnake]

Same problem man. I download game then extract fails

[Ookie Panda]

uhh... i really don't know how to fix that... @.@ it's worked for other people...

[Saekonungar]

If by "other people" you mean other people who downloaded it, then I'm pretty puzzled; but if you mean other people whom you shared it with via any other way, then probably the file got corrupted when you uploaded it.

[Ookie Panda]

If by "other people" you mean other people who downloaded it, then I'm pretty puzzled; but if you mean other people whom you shared it with via any other way, then probably the file got corrupted when you uploaded it.

other people used the same means of getting it, used that same link. 3 people. @.@ i am puzzled too, but you can try the other link if you want to.

[Saekonungar]

Hey, it worked this time. Thanks for the reupload
Ok finished the demo, let me say that you have some genuinely cool ideas. But I'll spoiler tag them

Spoiler:

Your writing is pretty good, there are some parts where it really shines: the dream sequences are very unsettling and creative (and make my game's dream sequences boring by comparison ); and the scene at night when Ookie is leaving home truly feels hopeless: it's pretty well made. However not everything is good: the biggest turn off so far is how Ookie has no flaws whatsoever, I know it makes sense plotwise, but not many players can relate to a character like that. Then for the rest...we proceed to the commented playthrough mode (patent pending ):


- Why does Ookie have the same initial stats as Ralph?
- Small typo: in the rock at the beginning, the message when checking it is:"Its says(...)"
- Ha, the intro is very grim, I like that (though, I could not help but chuckle at the tombstone that reads "friendly neighbor")
- Doesn't the well have too many implications of "depth" in it's description?"the depths of my soul, to the pits of my deepest fears..." I would have used darkest fears, since with pits you already are saying that they're deep, but hey, it's your game...
- Chosen one!Let's see if you can pull off a good choosen story.
---
- Typo: mother says "exocism"and"etc"?
- Hahahaha, that nomnomnom followed by "you apparently ate the plate as well" was awesome.
- You can walk over the beds at the inn.
- The church scene was REALLY freaky: good job.
- Ok, why does the church service stop and everyone gasp at her having a dream?
----
- The night scene, while cool, is way too dark: I can't see the background mostly.:S
- Another interesting dream scene.
---
- Ahh...you're supposed to be able to walk over beds.
- For some reason I have 99 potions and antidotes...
- Gah! welcome to insania the town of blind old man and sociopath maids
- The houses in town are kind of tiny...
- I knew Touchfuzyy was evil, but not so evil to freeze your game after talking to him D:
- Why does the store sell rtp equipment you can't even use?Also I've just noticed that Ookie is rich (I guess that, and the 99 items are for playtest purpouses)
- Seriously sprite is too bizarre of a name...and he's the prince, too?
- This must be the most empathetic person I've met. How could he arrive to that conclusion "So you don't know if this is all on your head"so easily?I would have told her "we all have nightmares" or something like that:P
- Didn't the prince just said he had a job to do and not enough time?Why is he joining us?O_O
---
- And why he, being a paladin has less HP less overall stats than Ookie who is a magician?
- Her home is in danger? Since when?If her dream is true, then they're already dead. While if it isnt', it was never in danger on the first place.
- Also how is someone she just met precious to her?

BTW, you have a lot of areas where is hard to tell if you can go through or not, I don't mind, but other people might whine about it. For example:



I hope that didn't came out too harsh (sorry if it did), I really like your plot ideas. It's just that I also like to nitpick at everything, don't take it badly.
It was short and sweet. I'm pretty intrigued on how this'll continue....

This post has been edited by Saekonungar: Sep 17 2009, 07:50 PM

[Ookie Panda]

Spoiler:

Hey, it worked this time. Thanks for the reupload
Ok finished the demo, let me say that you have some genuinely cool ideas. But I'll spoiler tag them

Spoiler:

Your writing is pretty good, there are some parts where it really shines: the dream sequences are very unsettling and creative (and make my game's dream sequences boring by comparison ); and the scene at night when Ookie is leaving home truly feels hopeless: it's pretty well made. However not everything is good: the biggest turn off so far is how Ookie has no flaws whatsoever, I know it makes sense plotwise, but not many players can relate to a character like that. Then for the rest...we proceed to the commented playthrough mode (patent pending ):


- Why does Ookie have the same initial stats as Ralph?
- Small typo: in the rock at the beginning, the message when checking it is:"Its says(...)"
- Ha, the intro is very grim, I like that (though, I could not help but chuckle at the tombstone that reads "friendly neighbor")
- Doesn't the well have too many implications of "depth" in it's description?"the depths of my soul, to the pits of my deepest fears..." I would have used darkest fears, since with pits you already are saying that they're deep, but hey, it's your game...
- Chosen one!Let's see if you can pull off a good choosen story.
---
- Typo: mother says "exocism"and"etc"?
- Hahahaha, that nomnomnom followed by "you apparently ate the plate as well" was awesome.
- You can walk over the beds at the inn.
- The church scene was REALLY freaky: good job.
- Ok, why does the church service stop and everyone gasp at her having a dream?
----
- The night scene, while cool, is way too dark: I can't see the background mostly.:S
- Another interesting dream scene.
---
- Ahh...you're supposed to be able to walk over beds.
- For some reason I have 99 potions and antidotes...
- Gah! welcome to insania the town of blind old man and sociopath maids
- The houses in town are kind of tiny...
- I knew Touchfuzyy was evil, but not so evil to freeze your game after talking to him D:
- Why does the store sell rtp equipment you can't even use?Also I've just noticed that Ookie is rich (I guess that, and the 99 items are for playtest purpouses)
- Seriously sprite is too bizarre of a name...and he's the prince, too?
- This must be the most empathetic person I've met. How could he arrive to that conclusion "So you don't know if this is all on your head"so easily?I would have told her "we all have nightmares" or something like that:P
- Didn't the prince just said he had a job to do and not enough time?Why is he joining us?O_O
---
- And why he, being a paladin has less HP less overall stats than Ookie who is a magician?
- Her home is in danger? Since when?If her dream is true, then they're already dead. While if it isnt', it was never in danger on the first place.
- Also how is someone she just met precious to her?

BTW, you have a lot of areas where is hard to tell if you can go through or not, I don't mind, but other people might whine about it. For example:



I hope that didn't came out too harsh (sorry if it did), I really like your plot ideas. It's just that I also like to nitpick at everything, don't take it badly.
It was short and sweet. I'm pretty intrigued on how this'll continue....

I'll reply to this not in "defense" of my game, but just to answer any questions people might have. But, I will work on everything you mentioned! Heck, you might even make a wonderful game tester, I like being told what i can fix and i appreciate all the people who have done so :]

- Why does Ookie have the same initial stats as Ralph?

I haven't figured out stats yet :s I really don't want to mess with them, and since all I did was replace the first slot with Ookie's graphics then I guess she has her stats all wrong. So basically, I haven't touched the stats yet, tis why Ookie has the same stats as Ralph.

- Ok, why does the church service stop and everyone gasp at her having a dream?

Well, if you talk to the people instead of just following, the people will give you their reactions, thus explaining why they would gasp. But I guess that should be more thorough.

okay! back to business!

- For some reason I have 99 potions and antidotes...

This is my mistake, but I've fixed it already owo

- Why does the store sell rtp equipment you can't even use?Also I've just noticed that Ookie is rich (I guess that, and the 99 items are for playtest purpouses)

I wasn't paying attention, I just wanted to fill the shop with stuff.. xD


- The houses in town are kind of tiny...

That's kind of just my style :3

- Seriously sprite is too bizarre of a name...and he's the prince, too?

Hehe, his name is based on someone. His name isn't changing, just accept it.

- This must be the most empathetic person I've met. How could he arrive to that conclusion "So you don't know if this is all on your head"so easily?I would have told her "we all have nightmares" or something like that:P

Hm... this is true. I suppose I could make him say "Sounds like a really bad dream"...but I kind of wanted to lead into the Remedial Lotus, so him not believing her wouldn't really tie in. :]

- Didn't the prince just said he had a job to do and not enough time?Why is he joining us?O_O

This makes sense... In my own mind I knew he was doing it out of politeness, but I guess I will let Ookie bring this up. Or I could make that silence longer, because he was definately contemplating during that time

- And why he, being a paladin has less HP less overall stats than Ookie who is a magician?

Once again, stats. :3 I actually cleared eveyrone else's except Ookie's lol

- Her home is in danger? Since when?If her dream is true, then they're already dead. While if it isnt', it was never in danger on the first place.

Well... I should have Frond explain this, but her dream is either reality, or a premonition (sp?). If she finds out it was only a dream, then she would treat it as a gaze into the future. But, if it all is a dream, then, yes, it will have already been destroyed.. complicated ish.. lol.

- Also how is someone she just met precious to her?

Ookie loves everyone!!!
lol no. she does, but, in her eyes, Sprite saved her from that time in the woods. and also, he is all that she has right now. o.o I guess that could also be part of that dramatic monologue before the battle~

...the biggest turn off so far is how Ookie has no flaws whatsoever, I know it makes sense plotwise, but not many players can relate to a character like that

in my eyes, Ookie's biggest flaw is her inexperience. She's a whimp. She complains about not being an adventurer, she says it's stupid to leave, she always wants to go home. but, i guess maybe her flaws should show more, she does seem kind of on the cross and perfect.

Hehehe, I feel like a game creator answering fan letters. lol. Thank you for playing my game, Sae. I hope this cleared things up and didn't cause more confusion. Like I said, I will fix everything you mentioned. Except, of course, Sprite's name.. xD

i answered some key questions from Sae's post. MAJOR spoilers, people

This post has been edited by Ookie Panda: Sep 19 2009, 03:58 AM

[Saekonungar]

Hey! There's a lot to answer, so I better get to work, too.

Spoiler:

I'll reply to this not in "defense" of my game, but just to answer any questions people might have. But, I will work on everything you mentioned! Heck, you might even make a wonderful game tester, I like being told what i can fix and i appreciate all the people who have done so :]

There's not many work for game testers on the America that lacks the North- suffix. I'm glad you can answer (and so throughly, too ) and that you didn't took my criticism the wrong way.

I haven't figured out stats yet :s I really don't want to mess with them, and since all I did was replace the first slot with Ookie's graphics then I guess she has her stats all wrong. So basically, I haven't touched the stats yet, tis why Ookie has the same stats as Ralph.

Well, it's all about playtesting, but if you feel lost: people seems to really like this tutorial.

Well, if you talk to the people instead of just following, the people will give you their reactions, thus explaining why they would gasp. But I guess that should be more thorough.

Madame, like you said I have Mad gametesting skillz (almost insane, one could say). I talked to everyone twice before leaving, but it's just like with the prince: just because she has a misterious dream, I feel it's pretty unrealistic for people to just believe her straight away no matter how cool it is. You could use a foreshadowy hint as a reason for them to believe in her, for example.
-Or just completely ignore my dumb opinions and do the game as you like it, which would be a more logical idea:P-

Hehe, his name is based on someone. His name isn't changing, just accept it.

I don't mind it, it isn't any stranger than Ookie, anyway

Hm... this is true. I suppose I could make him say "Sounds like a really bad dream"...but I kind of wanted to lead into the Remedial Lotus, so him not believing her wouldn't really tie in. :]

But that's easy, she just needs to convince him. Perhaps, that second dream sequence showed her something about him that could easily make him see that hers is no ordinary dream. (something like that could also happen with the priest, now that I think about it)
Yeah, sorry, about all the examples, I'm not supposed to trying to write the story for you.

This makes sense... In my own mind I knew he was doing it out of politeness, but I guess I will let Ookie bring this up. Or I could make that silence longer, because he was definately contemplating during that time

Yeah, the thought about him considering it crossed my mind when he just stood there, but it was too short of a pause, so I thought I had imagined he stopped.

Well... I should have Frond explain this, but her dream is either reality, or a premonition (sp?). If she finds out it was only a dream, then she would treat it as a gaze into the future. But, if it all is a dream, then, yes, it will have already been destroyed.. complicated ish.. lol.

Yeah, it does say something like that on the thread, I just didnt read it beforehand because you said it was spoilerful.

Ookie loves everyone!!!
lol no. she does, but, in her eyes, Sprite saved her from that time in the woods. and also, he is all that she has right now. o.o I guess that could also be part of that dramatic monologue before the battle~

Actually that's true, she's pretty lost at this point in the story.

in my eyes, Ookie's biggest flaw is her inexperience. She's a whimp. She complains about not being an adventurer, she says it's stupid to leave, she always wants to go home. but, i guess maybe her flaws should show more, she does seem kind of on the cross and perfect.

Yeah she is, now that you mention it, still IMHO, wimp isn't a good flaw to pick for a hero(ine). After all, she's bound to be getting into increasingly more dangerous situations. So not to annoy the player with constant whining you either would have to make her grow out of it really quickly, or make her whining pretty tame, which would only highlight her lack of other flaws. Just saying, that either a complementary flaw or one that doesn't make the player want to smack Ookie would add up a lot.

Then again this is all from my perspective and from what I've heard other gamers say. Don't take it too seriously

Pheew. That was lot to answer, well, thanks for being so awesome about all this mess of biased opinions I threw at you.

[Ookie Panda]

lolol you didnt have to answer them, i was the one answering questions lolol
but kewl. :3

i didnt take anything the wrong way, i take critisism well, and you weren't harsh to begin with anyways x3

[Nasir]

Checked this out after playing Chibi-Typio. Good artwork, lots of people running around really fast.

This has some good light-hearted moments, but I really like the serious crypticness.

Spoiler:

I thought the parallels of the dream scene and the church was well-played.

Frond is a little creepy though.

I'm only disappointed that this does not have the battle music from Chibi-Typio.

[Ookie Panda]

I'm only disappointed that this does not have the battle music from Chibi-Typio.

This made me laugh so hard xD
Chibi-Typio was a very comedic game and I didn't want it to be taken seriously at all,
not even in battle.
White Remedy is a bit different though :]
Thank you so much for your comment~

[silversnake]

played your game from the 24 hour contest and decided to check out the project your working on when you got time to do it. Story seems pretty cool so far. Not sure about fights since there really isnt any in the demo yet. So far seems good was sad that the demo was short
O btw at start when you talk to the ice statues it says an angel gazes down at me with sorrowfull look in there eyes or something like that. You got angel as one not as angels which I think it should be since you say look in there eyes meaning more then the 1 statue but both statues so change it to angels

[C-7]

I really enjoyed your demo, Ookie! It had me actually caring about the main character and feeling sorry for her. While the tiny houses are a bit odd to me, the mapping overall was really nice! I especially like the parallelism feature in the game and that you're so kind as to point it out to the player. The little flashes seem pretty effective in pointing things out and bringing attention to them. The characters were interesting enough with plenty of humor and great cameos. The soldier at the end seemed a little random/forced and I was especially sad that the game ended. Overall it was really nicely done with great character usage (this was quite true in chibi-typio as well).

The story does feel a little rushed, though, to boot her out of her town. Perhaps a cutscene between her and her mother or something as she heads out? Either way, great work so far and I'm really looking forward to the next version.

[mithos]

Wow this is great. It's a pity the demo was so short - I was just getting into it when it ended. They did seem a bit too ready to get rid of her though. seemed like she was being kicked out of the town for having a weird dream. It would be more believable if Frond took a bit longer over breaking it to her and she took longer to accept it. Other than that keep up the good work

[Ookie Panda]

Updated stuff for everyone

[xXZeroXx]

Is the new demo different from the last demo?

[Ookie Panda]

there's no updated demo yet. it's still .o1 u.u;
just updating the progress owo

[Sasame Kiryu]

Considering it hasn't even been a month since she last updated this thread's OP, I would say this project is still in development. The last time I looked at this topic, most of the graphics were different as well.

This post has been edited by Sasame Kiryu: Aug 31 2010, 10:49 AM