Announcement

[MusicZombie0250]

Hey there So I've been working on this story a bit lately. It is not all of the ideas I have for it, for spoiler reasons, but the idea is still clear. As of now it is just an idea, but if this gets positive feedback, I will work on it more and eventually look for a team On this team I'd be the main programmer, writer and musician. Which is a good deal of work, which I want to be good. So please, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is what I hope to get. I'll be making this in VX. Thank you in advance

The Children of Caliga

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN WORKING ON THIS PROJECT, HERE'S THE LINK TO THE RECRUITMENT THREAD:

http://www.rpgmakervx.net/index.php?showto...t=0#entry411393

Updates

Spoiler:

2/15/11
-Updated General Castus' and Akala's Bios
-Added Relaica to the World section
-Added the Religion section and the Adventure section
2/16/11
-Added the Characters High Vocater Alnain and Weio
2/19/11
-Added a Poll
-Added On the Edge to playlist
2/20/11
-Added Lullaby to the playlist
2/21/11
-Edited the Adventure section

Story

Spoiler:

After the fall of King Noltul, the land of Proclor has lived in harmony, with little threat to its disruption. Yes, there have been those that have spoken against the other nations, or expressed their disapproval of such connections, and there has been bloodshed by cause of the evil that always has and always will exist in the world, but these voices have been forgotten, and this violence punished. Proclor is a nearly perfect land. But, a problem has come about. Something no being on this land could have foreseen…

One day, on the peninsula of Graggu, a terrible sight was beheld. Winds raged, waves crashed, the earth shook; something horrific was occurring, but the terrified people did not know what. Before long, a noise of much dissonance filled the air, lights of an unknown source flashed. What was this strange event? Was it the apocalypse? Had the Earth lost its unknown means of survival? Moments later, the answer was right before them.

As the flashing died and, and the Earth calmed it’s rage, the people looked for what may have caused. To their dismay, they found it. What appeared to be a hole in the sky was hovering far above their heads, with nothing but blackness visible. Simply looking within this hole chilled their sole and wrenched hope from their hearts. In the dead silence of disbelief, Ploclor’s peace was shattered. Terrible demons flew, jumped, dove from this hole, and started to wreak havoc upon the land. The peninsula was ravaged, very few escaped alive. These few fled to the largest cities, to tell of this horror. As the world formed its army, the demons continued to destroy, continued to bring death that this land had not known for years. When these two forces met, a terrible battle ensued. The army drew the demons back, but many fled to other regions of the world, aiming to cause havoc wherever possible. It was a hollow victory, especially because the whole did not stop spitting out demons. Though it was not as frequent, it caused the land to be constantly in danger.

This endless battle that takes place in all regions of the world has been dubbed the Unknown War, and the infamous hole has been called The Tear. People fight for what they hold dearest every day, and know that this will continue for many years to come. But their doom is not the demons, but a being they are unaware of. As they fight these monsters, this creature of pure evil slithers about the world, corrupting those that he sees fit, sees fit to join his army, to be called a Child of Caliga.

The protagonist, Celdin, is visited by this creature. As a result, Celdin is forced to believe things he wishes were not true, forced to do acts he did not intend, forced to fulfill a destiny he does not desire. After that nightmare, his world is drastically changed. Never again would he merely be another simple person residing in Aquolt, his destiny goes far beyond this; far, far beyond.

The Adventure

Spoiler:

Celdin will come across many in his adventure, though he can never be sure who is a friend or a foe. His almost schizophrenic personality makes it hard for him to differ one from the other. Though one may agree with the good in him, the man he wants to belive himself to be; but another may entice the beast in him, the part that is destined to aid in the chaos of the world. People will come and go, allies will rise and enemies will fall, or vice versa. Choices you make will effect where your alliances are, will affect who you will fight beside once Celdin's head is clear. All are effected by The Tear, Celdin being one of its biggest victims. Will you fight to close The Tear and bring peace back to the world? Or will you help decimate the world's defences and let the darkness envelope the place you formerly called home?

Celdin will not only come across many people, but many monsters as well. The demons that overrun the world vary in power to a large degree. Some are weak, but come in groups. These are known as Lesser Demons, and although they are weak they are still deadly. Then there are Greater Demons, which requiring some form of strategy to be disposed of rather than mindless attacking. They have adapted interesting characteristics to counter the human's fighting style and overall avoid death, making their defeat not so simple. Some have impenetrable skin in all but one place, others have the ability to rise from death on their own whim. These mechanisms are many, and must be recognized so that they can be countered effectively. The worst of the demons are the Abominations, creatures that seem invincible. Very few have every seen one, let alone defeat one. But, whenever an abomination decides to unleash its wrath on a city, the results are cataclysmic.

Characters

Spoiler:

Celdin
Gender: Male
Age: 23
The story’s protagonist, he is a young man that fulfills all duties given to him; though there are some that call him absent minded. Though he is not of the smartest strand, he is of the toughest, his father made sure of it. Celdin was taught how to fight by Akala, a supreme fighter, and close friend of the Castus family. His father made sure he could fight so that he could help protect his town while he is at war. Celdin hopes to one day join his father, but it was made clear to him that he will protect the village, and that his father will do all in his power to prevent that from changing.

He stands by his father’s commands, for he knows the village needs his help to survive. He wants to ensure the protection of his mother, of Akala, of everyone in the village. Such is his nature to protect the ones he loves, especially those unable to do so themselves.

One night, Celdin experiences a terrible nightmare. It has visions of death, despair, pure havoc at the hands of a powerful army. The images are vivid and they scar his mind. As these images flash, a malicious voice echoes in his mind. It speaks of the end, and of the army that will bring it. He is told that he has been chosen to be a part of this army, and that he has no say in the matter. “You will kill, you will deceive, you will strip life of so many innocents… Just as every Child will, regardless of what free will they think they have.” He wakes from this nightmare, and soon realizes that it was not just a dream…

General Castus
Gender: Male
Age: 44
Celdin’s father, who is basically an unseen factor in his son’s life. He wishes he could be with his son, but he knows that Unknown War is of a greater importance. He has a high power in the military, and ensured his son that he will never be enrolled in the army so that he may stay and protect the village. General Castus is one of the few in the army that is brave enough to see what lies beyond The Tear. But, the shortage of such brave men makes this an impossible thing to do. Many are afraid of what has come out of The Tear, and almost no one wants to find out what still lays within. Castus believes that the evil must be stopped before any creature that they cannot defeat comes through. Many people think this way, but he is the only one that wishes to act upon it.

Nothing is more important to Castus than his family, which makes his seperation from them all the more painful. He loves his wife and son dearly, and the mere thought of harm coming their way makes his soul drown in sorrow. It is this reason that he reacts so negatively to his son's proposition of joining the army. He had never in his life yelled at his son, but once such a statement was brought up, a fear in him that not even the demons could bring out was shown. The longer Celdin fought, the longer Castus had to think of Celdin's corpse dead at the hands of a terrible creature, the more infuriated he became. This was the last time he and his son have spoken to one another.

He wants nothing more than to see The Tear closed, to see every vile creature that emerges from its dark abyss slain. The peace the world had for so many years, gone as result of one event… an event not even caused by humans. He will die if it means that the peace will be returned, for the world, for his village, for his family.

Akala
Gender: Female
Age: 38
She is a very close friend to the Castus family, an excellent fighter, and the one that made Celdin the warrior he is today. She has fought beside Castus time and time again, and the two were very highly regarded as a very deadly combo. But once Castus was given the title of General, the two were seperated, but only Castsus continued to recieve praise. Though Akala was not an afterthought, her skill was overlooked as result of her former partner's title. She does not hold this against her old friend, but her jealous nature is something that cannot be controlled, and has made her come to unintelligent decisions.

She helped foil a plot to set the nations against each other once more, which was being organized by a group known as The Discidium. Their plot was to assassinate the leader of Srogum, Lord Leondun while he visited the neighboring nation of Grax, trying to get the two nations against each other, and as result of alliances, the whole world would start battling.

But Akala was aware of the plot, for a defect of the group told her of the plot. She could have easily told Leondun of the plot, so that he may have hired more bodyguards or even hired a double to decieve his attackers. But she needed this to show the world that not only one half of the duo deserved praise... She stayed by Lord Leondun’s side, knowing just when the assault would happen. As result, she foiled the plot and rid the world of the lowly assassins; but not without injury. While fighting them off, she was slashed in the eyes, and lost their sight. Thankfully it was the last of the assassins that did this, and she quickly countered to end his life. Though she is now without sight and not as capable a warrior as result, she adapted quickly and is still a force to be reckoned with.

Urnkat
Gender: Male
Age: 35
The leader of the group known as The Discidium. He is the mastermind behind any plot which they attempt, though he is never there for its execution. He knows that if he is to die, than The Discidium would be without a leader strong enough to go through with the task they have. It is not out of cowardice, but merely a precaution. This was a smart move, for if he too were to been at the attempted assassination of Leondus, Akala may have ended the group herself. His reasons for forming the group are unknown. The fall of King Noltul was far before his life, meaning it could not be an act of revenge in any way. Some say it is purely out of hate and disapproval of the system, but other claim that is not enough to put so much effort into such a terrible cause.

High Vocater Alnain
Gender: Male
Age:37
The highest regarded member in Proclor's religious society. He has travelled the world to "spread faith" and help prevent the world from hitting its lowest point. He is always wrapped in some of the most ornate clothing known to man, which is the only appearence that is suited for a servant of Arvolon. Or, so he claims. He was gifted with the power of speech, and can drive the most stonefaced man to tears. He says it is because it is not his own words hey conveys, but the words of Arvolon himself! Alnain is simply a medium for Arolon to keep the people filled with hope.

Though he is an ecellent speaker and is believed to be of a pure heart, there are those that do not think so highly of him. Wherever he travles, he becons the people he graces with his presence to help spread the faith. But not with word, but with money. He asks for a donation to The Arctra, so that even in these hard times the building can be funded and that faith can still have a strong center. It is not neccesary for one to donate, but no one dares deny, for they have heard of Alnain releasing a powerful speech upon he has been deemed "unfaithful." After such a speech from a such figure, the view society has on that person drastically turns for the worst, and they lose almost all conections they have.

Weio
Gender: Female
Age: 21
A young attractive girl that is without a home. Her village was destroyed years ago, burnt to the ground by its own people. Why this occured is a detail she will not convey, and most likely never will. She is without a friend, without a family. She is alone in the world, and has learned to fend for herself. Though young, she is strong willed and will fight for whatever she may believe in. Though, as a result of her extended non-social approach to life, she has a very hard time trusting anyone. She has been decieved before, and she has decieved as well. Survival of the ittest is the game she plays, and she plays it well. When interacting with her, it is wise to watch your back so it does not get stabbed. But, if one were to form a bond with her, she would be an ally of great value.

???
Gender: ???
Age: ???
A being that wishes to cover the world in nothing but evil, to see the people suffer, to dominate all that oppose him. The means it plans to do this, or even its existence, is unknown to the human populace. Although they do not know of the creature, they soon will, and they will fear it greatly.

World

Spoiler:

The Discidium
A group bent on breaking the peaceful bonds between nations. They were almost successful once, but were thwarted by Akala. But this did not douse their fury. Still they plot, even in the world’s present state. They are of a great threat, for if they were to sever the bonds as they aim to do, it would make survival all the more impossible.

Proclor
Proclor was once a land that had nearly no conflict, no despair. There were still those that had evil intentions, but they were nothing of note. But after The Tear, things have changed. Every village, town, and city is constantly on edge, waiting to be attacked by yet another horde of demons. Children fear the loss of parents, parents fear the loss of children, and friends fear the loss of friends. What was once a pplace of tranquility is now a place of chaos, and it may all be coming to an end soon.

Srogum
The homeland of Celdin, and the world’s largest country. As result of its size, it has a vast amount of resources, making it a place of many wealthy cities. Its capital, Noull, is the center of the world’s trade. Both day and night, its streets are flooded with merchants. But a very unfavorable side effect of the large population is the large attraction of demons. Srogum is the most dangerous of the countries to live in, as a result.

Grax
Located north of Srogum, Grax is not nearly as populated as its close ally. Not because of size, but because it is the country that is home to The Tear. After its occurrence, almost all citizens fled to another country. Some left family behind, some stowed away if they could not afford the trip. For those that stayed, there are a large amount of them that did so to study the demons, and there were some that moved to the area for the same purpose. If not for these Demologists pinpointing and publishing the weak points and traits of the demons, the death toll would be exponentially higher.

Ralaica
The nation with the leisure of being the furthest from The Tear, though they do not go unaffected by it. The city's capital, Holar, is home to The Arctra, the worlds largest and most praised religious building. Many flock to it, seeking faith, seeking something to believe in. Vocaters reside their day and night, ready to tell all of Arvolon's greatness. As a result, Ralaica has become the most religion oriented nation in the world. Many other places of worship have been set up in it, and although it is not uncommon to find one in the other nations, they come nowhere close to the amount Ralaica holds.

Religion

Spoiler:

The people of Proclor believe that their world was created from one being's intent, a being they have named Arvolon. No one ventures a guess as to what was before Proclor's formation, but they all believe that Arvolon formed the lands, but there is discretion on his reasons. Some say he wanted something to care for, others say it was merely out of amusement. But it is agreed throught the world that Arvolon is the creator. They say that the land is made of his flesh, and resembles its great strength. They say the ocean was made when he released his emotion, and that it copied the trait that emotions can change in an instant, for better or worse. They say that the sun was made from his heart, and that it copied his trait of great power, and radiated it in the form of heat so that the people could survive. They say that the humans and animals were made from mis mind, and that they copied the traight of intelligence so that they may fend for themselves. After all was done, Arvolon vanished. He did not want to trifle in the affairs of the world, for he could have only hoped the beings that he created were good. They believe that all who die return to Arvolon in their purest form, and never feel regret or despair once they reach him.

Religion plays a relatively large role in the world of Proclor, especially in these dark times. When people need seomthing to look forward to, they listen to the sermons about Arvolon's Haven, and wait for the day that Arvolon decides to greet them there. When they need faith in something, they look to the stories told for centuries. Stories of Arvolon's intervention in the world, despite his reluctance to do so. But they say that he is so great a being that he would save everyone's lives at once if the situation called for it. Some wait for the day when Arvolon will close The Tear and restore the world to peace. Whetehr or not they wait in vain is unknown.

Music

Spoiler:

This is the link to the few pieces of written for it so far. I hope you like them

http://soundcloud.com/bassistforever9509/s...ldren-of-caliga

So this is the basic idea, there is no development in the actual VX program yet, but this is because this is not the role I would play in its creation. But as I said, if I get feedback, I will put it in motion, hopefully get a team, and make a game

This post has been edited by MusicZombie0250: Feb 22 2011, 01:35 PM

[FlowyS]

Well, I guess its review time !

Story - After a king died, Proclar lived in peace until a big rift in the sky killed a lot of people and stopped the peace. In the aftermath of this conflict,
a young boy is turned into a Child of Caliga, a person influenced by dark creatures.
+ Wow, story is pretty clear, informative, and simple while hooking the reader in the end.
-- Plot might be a bit cliche, but it does add a bit of a twist.

Characters
+ Characters seem good and well developed. Shows what personalitiy the person is along with a bit of backstory.
+ Again, characters are clear and easy to understand.
-- Although if your initital characters are this developed, I will expect you do the same with all your other characters. (consistency is important)
-- Characters seem a bit too old, so they might put off younger audiences like me. (But then again, this isn't all the characters)

Music
+ Very good considering that you made these music yourself
-- Well its not FFXIII quality. But hey... why am I comparing one person's music to an entire orchaestra's music...yea....nvm

Presentation - No idea, but I'll be hoping for a good one .

[MusicZombie0250]

Well, I guess its review time !

Story - After a king died, Proclar lived in peace until a big rift in the sky killed a lot of people and stopped the peace. In the aftermath of this conflict,
a young boy is turned into a Child of Caliga, a person influenced by dark creatures.
+ Wow, story is pretty clear, informative, and simple while hooking the reader in the end.
-- Plot might be a bit cliche, but it does add a bit of a twist.

Characters
+ Characters seem good and well developed. Shows what personalitiy the person is along with a bit of backstory.
+ Again, characters are clear and easy to understand.
-- Although if your initital characters are this developed, I will expect you do the same with all your other characters. (consistency is important)
-- Characters seem a bit too old, so they might put off younger audiences like me. (But then again, this isn't all the characters)

Music
+ Very good considering that you made these music yourself
-- Well its not FFXIII quality. But hey... why am I comparing one person's music to an entire orchaestra's music...yea....nvm

Presentation - No idea, but I'll be hoping for a good one .

Thank you for the feedback, I wasn't expecting anything in depth like that, so that was anice surprise

For the story, I acknowledge the cliches. Imma make sure the whole plot is as cliche free as possiblle, though the occasional one couldnt hurt.

For the characters, I do plan on making all major characters that devolped. Nothing aggrivates me more in a game than when there are unfilled backstories. Believe me, I'll make sure that it stays consistent. And as for the age, I know most are older, but that will change as the story progresses. As you said, those are npot all the characters.

For music, I WISH it was FF XIII quality xD But either way I'm happy to here that segment is going in the right direction

[MusicZombie0250]

Would anyone else like to share their opinion?

This post has been edited by MusicZombie0250: Feb 14 2011, 07:34 PM

[Voltage]

If I were not already involved in an indie project, I would offer you my services. Best of luck Zombie

[MusicZombie0250]

Lol why thank you for the almost-offer Voltage, and good luck on your project as well

[Voltage]

By the way, your 5th song Hope, within 'The Children of Caliga' kicks ass. I've replayed it 15 times. Perhaps you should loop it.

[MusicZombie0250]

Lol well I'm happy you enjoy it And it will be looped, once I get access to my laptop again. I've only been able to work on the story cuz my laptop with my music programs is currently unavailable unfortunately

[MusicZombie0250]

Anyone else have feedback? I updated the thread

[MusicZombie0250]

Feedback? At least vote in the poll please

[drakonianpupp]

Honestly, this is very solid and fleshed out writing Although I can't really say that the demons thing hasn't been done before, I'd LOVE to find out the reason for this "Tear" in the sky. Stories that have me ask myself, "Why," always get me. Keep it up!

EDIT: Great music btw

This post has been edited by drakonianpupp: Feb 21 2011, 11:33 AM

[MusicZombie0250]

No, I am fully aware I am not the first to use demons. Far from it actually xD But I'm happy you like the story and music

[drakonianpupp]

Hey, it's all about presentation. If you can present it in some unique or surprising way, then I'm pretty sure it'll turn out alright. Either way, I'll be looking forward to this; you got my support

[MusicZombie0250]

Woohoo my first supporter What a feeling xD Thanks a bunch dude, I'm almost at the point where I'll wanna get a team together, so it hopefully won't be TOO long before this game is released or at least has a demo (Just don't hold your breath )

[dvorski12]

This is great keep it up!!! Story and music are cool!!
I would help you with maps but i already work on few project, but if i finish soon i will come dirrecly here!!!

[drakonianpupp]

Not a problem! No need for any pressure or anything, just keep on working. I'll be waiting

[MusicZombie0250]

@dvorski12: Thanks I just started lookin for a team, so I'd be happy to have on on whenever you're ready

[dvorski12]

But if u need mapper i can do some maps in my free time, I just love do maps, its art to me

[MusicZombie0250]

Sweet I'll take you up on that offer in the future

New song added by the way

[Demon6324236]

I can do eventing for you.