Hi, I am gen567, and this is my upcoming rmvx game, FreedomQuest. I hope you like it. All feedback is welcomed, be it positive or negative. My aim with this game is to make something people will enjoy, and want to play again.
7000 years ago, humans evolved from merely being walking apes into an advanced species. This was due to two major innovations. A complex language system, and writing. Having noticed the evolution of their cousin species, the mysterious and powerful Handar race established communications.
The Handar taught the humans bronze working, a way of creating a metal strong enough to allow agriculture and architecture to flourish. They taught their human cousins about the laws and lores of nature, and the two races began to walk hand in hand to preserve the natural beauty of their world.
However, not all would go smoothly. The nature loving, long lived Handar had magical power and knowledge far superior to the humans, and the humans would display their two greatest weaknesses. They were jealous of the Handar's fey power and supernatural. long lives. The humans wanted this power and knowledge, and the Handar might well have shared this knowledge, if it wasn't for the second fatal human flaw.
The humans were too proud to ask for further help and knowledge, and believed that they could just take this power. And thus, 4000 years ago, began a great racial conflict that would forever be known as The War Of The Cleansing Flames. For over a millenium, the numerically and technologically superior humans would do battle with the magically and militarily superior Handar. This war would give birth to many legendary figures, individuals and blood lines that managed to win their side superiority for a while. Finally, 3000 years ago, the final battle was fought. The legendary Handar Dracomantic Mordecai family crossed blades with the legendary human warrior, Zekks Tempest. After an apocalyptic battle that raged without pause for 25 days, Zekks and his warriors emerged victorious. What followed was a gross act of genocide forever vilified as The Merciless Slaughter.
Despite the heroic efforts of the last Handar king and his elite group of guards, the humans breached the final fortress of the Handar and slaughtered all that they saw. Since this destruction, the force of magic all but vanished, and the humans lost their unifying force. They had lost all chance to obtain the vast Dracomantic powers of the Handar, and tried to make up for it by pushing the boundaries of technology.
Now, almost 3000 years after The War Of The Cleansing Flames, the world is again about to be plunged into chaos. The human clans have become powerful kingdoms almost constantly warring with each other. A powerful sorceror, claiming to be the last of the Handar, threatens all from the shadows.
Now, as during The War Of The Cleansing Flames, the fate of the world rests squarely on a member of the Tempest family. Little does young Aldren Tempest know that the world is in mortal peril. Even as he becomes Captain of the King's Guard, he remains blissfully unaware that the legacy of Zekks Tempest, whose blood flows strongest through his veins, is about to lead Aldren on the greatest journey of his life....
Profession: Captain of the king's Guard
Hair: Blond, Short, Rough
Build: Slim, wiry, athletic
Brief History: Orphaned at an early age, adopted by his grandmother. From an early age, he was an unruly child and wily fighter. However, when he came of age, he enlisted in the West Sidton military corps, where he excelled and learned discipline. So exceptional was his skill that he was promoted and is the youngest person to have ever become a captain of the king's guard. His skill in battle is matched only by his sense of honour and duty.
Age: 238 (19)
Profession: Last heir to the last Handar Kingdom
Build: Slim, Muscular
Brief history: Haudar is the oldest and last surviving child of Lord Tilal Inglorion. As such, and as people at war, he learned statecraft and all the martial arts from an early age. Having excelled in all of these disciplines, Haudar was given rulership of the Eastern Plains, the last line of defence aganst the ruthless Maldeans. Like his childhood friend Titus, Haudar too is misunderstood and underestimated, but he will always stay true to his race's nature and will never abandon a friend in need.
Age: 241 (20)
Profession: Chief Advisor to Lord Tilal Inglorion/ Haudar's bodyguard
Class: Dracolich (Dracomancer/Knight)
Brief history: Titus was born into a family of powerful Dracomancers, and learned from an early age to become a powerful mage. Not long after coming of age (Handar come of age at 55), Titus took an interest in all the martial arts, including strategy and tactics and excelled in these arts as well. Due to his prowess as a scholar, warrior and mage, and due to his illustrious family, Titus became chief advisor to the last noble Handar family, the Inglorions and is Haudar's bodyguard. Titus' feminine personality and camp nature belies his deadly skill, and is constantly underestimated by his enemies, which is exactly what he wants.
It's not too bad, but I have a few criticisms over the story. The Handar sound like they were a powerful species long before the humans came along. You've said that they were magically and militarily superior to humans, and also had more knowledge then them. If this was the case, then how did humanity manage to defeat them?
It reminds me of a little known example in Stargate SG 1. There was a race of humans called the Tolaar and they were technologically superior to a race of humans on a near by planet. The Tolaar traveled to this planet and shared their knowledge with them, only for the other humans to turn against them due to greed and a lust for more. Though the humans had learned to use the Tolaar weapons and technology, the Tolaar were still superior, just as the Handar are, and utterly crushed the other human race.
There may be circumstances that I'm unaware of (probably guaranteed), but it seems strange that a long lived, magically capable species would fall to a more immature species. This may not be the case if humanity had surpassed them in numbers and had just thrown enormous armies at the Handar, but you did say that the Handar were still much more capable then humanity at the start of the war. By militarily, did you mean all round, like numbers, tactics, technology and skill, or just one of the examples? I suppose it would be legitimate if the humans won via tactics if the Handar still used old school strategy.
I do look forwards to seeing more though, because it does look like there is potential there.
Here's a demo for you all to try. All feedback is appreciated. Note that the demo is short, about an hour long. Also, I am looking to recruit a dialogue writer, so if anyone's interested, send me a pm. Also note that a couple of things is this version of the game will not be in the finished version.
Edit: There was a problem with the previous download but everything is now sorted. Here are the new download links.
For the OST, you will need to extract both files named ost part 1 and ost part 2, then you need to go into the audio folder and move all the songs from the ost part 1+2 files to a sub folder within the audio folder called BGM.
This post has been edited by gen567: Mar 6 2012, 05:39 PM