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> Tenebris Mysterium, ( A dark tale that will keep you interested)
KaiserKami
post Mar 17 2012, 08:11 PM
Post #1


Snake Eater
Group Icon


Type: Writer
Alignment: Neutral Good




This story of mine I have been wanting to get out to the public, it is one of my darker tales. It is only in two parts, and if you read it all, it will grip you, and only want you to have more. So enjoy everyone.

~| Destitution |~ The placating pitter patter of rain that danced along the tin roof lightly echoed throughout the small hovel. The weather-beaten boards that held up the small building, seemed to creak as if they would splinter and fall at any moment. The rain slowly began to pool within the dented and dilapidated sheets of tin, adding weight to these already fractured boards. As the rain continued to beat down upon the small hovel, the echoes of the rain against the tin spread throughout the dense forest that surrounded it. The trees were tall and covered the area like a rainforest, giving off a feral feeling as well as the typical calming sensation that accompanied rain. The sound of fluttering wings quickly spread throughout this forest as the birds quickly made for their nests, taken aback by the sudden storm. The birds quickly nestled within their trees, the other animals around the forest doing the same as if they were afraid of more than just getting wet. A loud cracking sound echoed throughout the forest moments after a bolt of lightning spread throughout the clouds. The animals shrieking and cawing with fear as the lightening continued to strike and the thunder booked through the area. The meager house shook with each clap of thunder, each bolt of lightning illuminating the inside of the hovel for a moment. Within the small hovel there was nothing, but a small bed if you could call it that. It was nothing more than a few pillows that barely had any stuffing left in them along the ground. A sweat and tear stained blanket covered the pillows, causing them to resemble the bed of an infant. As another bolt of lightning struck nearby the house more was illuminated by the brief flash. A cracked kettle and two cups that were in pieces sat upon a sagging table; the rotting wood barely able to hold the kettle and cups. Within a corner of the building sat what looked like the body of a man. The form was hunched over, dressed in rags that barely covered the length of the body. The body of the being in itself was something that caused to stomach to turn and others to wretch. The body was thin, too thin for someone to be able to function properly, if at all. The nearly translucent skin clung to bones, and the little bit of muscle that had not atrophied. The veins and arteries that could be seen under the skin appeared to be flat, and as if blood had not flowed through them for days. The torso of the being seemed sickly and as if it would crumble.

~C~
The ribcage was broken in parts, the cartilage that once held the bones together had deteriorated and turned into dust beneath the skin. The organs that dwelled within the ribcage could easily be seen through the holes where ribs had fallen. The lungs that were once a fresh and peaceful color were now black and flat. The air that once filled them has long since slipped through the pours and out of the body. The heart that was once red and filled the body with blood was now gray and empty. Small sections of the heart already told of decay and deterioration. The cheek bones of the body jutted out of the skin; the skin seeming to have been peeled from the very bone it once clung to. Black hair cascaded down and covered the eye sockets of the body, a light glimmer of read slipping past the thin strands of hair. A gust of wind ripped through the foliage that covered the trees as a loud crack of thunder ripped through the sky; the wind moved like a spear, slicing apart the leaves and eventually slicing clean through the building. The wind tore apart the body, disconnecting the head from the rest of the form. As the head spun through the air, the red gleam was easier seen. The red eyes shimmered from the luminous moonlight that slipped through the narrow crevices between clouds. A smile split the head in half, moving from one side of his head to the other. The smile was the kind one would see upon the face of a demented person. The smile and eyes seemed to carry a greater feeling and depth than any words could explain. The meaning was simple and yet it carried great power. "The greatest joy in life is to die... To be free of the pain within the world..."

This post has been edited by KaiserKami: Mar 17 2012, 09:12 PM


--------------------
"Yo pops, I'll have the stupid special."
(What makes a hero?)
(Man's desire is a curse.)
(All crave for fortune.)
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Celianna
post Mar 17 2012, 08:45 PM
Post #2



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Type: Artist
Alignment: Chaotic Evil




I think ... I spotted four commas.

Not your strong point, is it?
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KaiserKami
post Mar 17 2012, 09:01 PM
Post #3


Snake Eater
Group Icon


Type: Writer
Alignment: Neutral Good




QUOTE (Celianna @ Mar 17 2012, 09:45 PM) *
I think ... I spotted four commas.

Not your strong point, is it?

I had simply copy pasted it over from my word document, but thanks for telling me I'll go back to do some edits, and for the next part, I'll put more commas when necessary . It's either less or little commas, or way to many of them.

This post has been edited by KaiserKami: Mar 17 2012, 09:02 PM


--------------------
"Yo pops, I'll have the stupid special."
(What makes a hero?)
(Man's desire is a curse.)
(All crave for fortune.)
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
   
KaiserKami
post Mar 29 2012, 09:31 PM
Post #4


Snake Eater
Group Icon


Type: Writer
Alignment: Neutral Good




Forget it. Part 2 will be soon, as well as part 3...once that's done...it's done.

This post has been edited by KaiserKami: Mar 29 2012, 10:31 PM


--------------------
"Yo pops, I'll have the stupid special."
(What makes a hero?)
(Man's desire is a curse.)
(All crave for fortune.)
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
   

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