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> Red Mailman of Rima, Mailman at day, Assasin at night
kiruha
post Dec 17 2008, 06:19 AM
Post #1


In Soviet Russia, RPG Makes you!
Group Icon


Type: Artist






Warning! Some of this information may contain extreme amounts of information that will overfill your cranium. In case brain freeze occurs, minimize the page, get a glass of cool Orange (or whatever you prefer) Juice, wait a couple minutes, and get back to the story. Any other problems should be reported via "reply to this post" or PM Kiruha. Thanks! Enjoy the story!


Update
  • Added userbar!
  • Removed Title suggestions
  • Added "History" section
  • Added "Side" characters
  • Added Character Pictures


Motivation
This is my first game that I will be creating. It will be about growing up, and choosing a career for life. It is also my Senior Project for school, because I too am going to graduate this june (hopefully), and will have to decide on a career.

The title is still a work in progress. I have made up my mind to keep the current title, because of it's originality and because I can initial it: RMR
I would still love any suggestions.

Story
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


Characters
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


Features
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


Thanks everyone! Over time I am going to add more Info, and add screenshots, and a world map!

Wanna support my game? Here is my userbar!

CODE
[url="http://www.rpgmakervx.net/index.php?showtopic=7453"][img]http://img291.imageshack.us/img291/4100/ubd8777mq3.png[/img][/url]


This post has been edited by kiruha: Dec 18 2008, 05:51 AM


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OverlordVulcan
post Dec 17 2008, 11:53 AM
Post #2


"Nothing burns hotter than my own fury!"
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Type: Designer




QUOTE
PS: Can anyone help me with getting a userbar? Those look really sleek and awesome!!!
I think there's a site called UBDesigner, I may have linked it incorrectly though.

I made my own userbar in photoshop, though some use UBDesigner.


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Online Fanarts Protection - I realised it stopped updating, but I deem it a good cause to promote
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Jennestia
post Dec 17 2008, 12:04 PM
Post #3


~RPG Making Princess~
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Type: Musician
Alignment: True Neutral




Yeah..that's the one I used..I think.


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~*Current Projects*~

~*Check out my project if you have time*~
Concept Demo Preview uploaded, keep in mind it IS a concept demo it's NOT meant to show off the story but to show off the flow, take a peek if you have time and offer suggestions on the flow~


~*Supported Projects*~

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whizkios
post Dec 17 2008, 01:19 PM
Post #4



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Type: Designer




Quick review after reading your post.

I love the current title, it's very unique and original. The rest are "meh" in comparison, like "A Letter of Your Life" fits more for a novel than a game. Story-wise, up until you talk about Rima, it feels a bit unresolved. It's a bit shaky on why the people on Lyura want to find a way off the island. They have been living together until they figured they were isolated? Do you see where I'm getting? It's awkward, not like they were at war to begin with when they didn't discover that they were isolated or at least that's what I assumed. Might need to embellish upon and clarify that portion of the story. The latter part of your story, Rima to mailman, I like very much. It's a very unique perspective to start off from in a game. Can't say much of the character bios, they are all straightforward. I see you managed to tie most characters to the leading protagonist in some way, which is a good start. Could possibly come up with stronger tie-ins to the main plot.

Overall, great start. I see you mentioned that you'll add more info, I'll be waiting for that. Very unique perspective, tighten up the beginning and it'll be great. Keep up the good work.


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View some of my artwork here:3D works
Gate of the World
Completion: [llllllllll]
-Act 1: [llllllllll] -Act 6: [llllllllll]
-Act 2: [llllllllll] -Act 7: [llllllllll]
-Act 3: [llllllllll] -Act 8: [llllllllll]
-Act 4: [llllllllll] -Act 9: [llllllllll]
-Act 5: [llllllllll]
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kiruha
post Dec 18 2008, 05:55 AM
Post #5


In Soviet Russia, RPG Makes you!
Group Icon


Type: Artist




QUOTE (whizkios @ Dec 17 2008, 05:37 AM) *
Quick review after reading your post.

I love the current title, it's very unique and original. The rest are "meh" in comparison, like "A Letter of Your Life" fits more for a novel than a game. Story-wise, up until you talk about Rima, it feels a bit unresolved. It's a bit shaky on why the people on Lyura want to find a way off the island. They have been living together until they figured they were isolated? Do you see where I'm getting? It's awkward, not like they were at war to begin with when they didn't discover that they were isolated or at least that's what I assumed. Might need to embellish upon and clarify that portion of the story. The latter part of your story, Rima to mailman, I like very much. It's a very unique perspective to start off from in a game. Can't say much of the character bios, they are all straightforward. I see you managed to tie most characters to the leading protagonist in some way, which is a good start. Could possibly come up with stronger tie-ins to the main plot.

Overall, great start. I see you mentioned that you'll add more info, I'll be waiting for that. Very unique perspective, tighten up the beginning and it'll be great. Keep up the good work.


THanks everyone for the important feedback and the userbar website. As you can see I have added a history section, which will hopefully clear the story misunderstanding. I have also decided to keep the current title. hopefully, Ill accomplish more work and maybe post more information faster.

PS: Please pray so I don't have school tommorow. Yay for snow!


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My Current Game:



Games I Support!


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